


When the cat is away...

by boleyn13



Series: Avengers Compound [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avenger Bucky Barnes, Avenger Loki, Avengers Family, Domestic Avengers, F/M, Loki is a ShapeShifter, M/M, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony is afraid of big cats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 18:58:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6717142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boleyn13/pseuds/boleyn13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony hasn't been at the Avengers compound in weeks, so when he gets there he is in for a lot of surprises. Unfortunately nobody else but him has a problem with a black panther stalking around the house.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When the cat is away...

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody,
> 
> A little something, partly inspired by Civil War, but it's mostly fun :D

So Pepper and him were on a hiatus. Again. Probably this one was going to last forever. What a surprise, huh? Tony couldn’t blame her and he was tired of blaming himself, therefore he decided to accept things as they were. Tony Stark was single again, the world order was back in place. People magazine would go crazy, they were probably already sending out paparazzi to every club in town to be ready when Tony showed up to return to his playboy ways.

Just to fuck with them Tony wouldn’t do that. There was no denying that he was feeling lonely though. The mansion and the apartment were empty and Tony was missing Jarvis. Yes, Friday was cool too and he liked to be called boss, but Jarvis and him had been buddies and with Pepper gone Tony couldn’t stand having a female voice commentating on everything he did.

While sitting on his couch and sipping on his scotch Tony decided that he needed company. Five minutes later he was sitting in his Ferrari, heading for the Avengers compound. He had always loved hanging out there with the others, because it was chaos, madness and highly entertaining. You couldn’t turn around without witnessing something amazing. Today Tony pretty much just wanted to talk to Vision. Yeah, he knew Vision wasn’t Jarvis, but they had the same voice and speaking pattern. Also hanging out with Thor and getting drunk was fun… if Thor was even on this planet at the moment. You just never knew.

When Tony pulled up to the compound the building seemed quiet, but Tony wasn’t fooled this easily. “Hey everybody, daddy is home!”

There was no reply and Tony was already starting to feel pissed off. This was his fucking building, they should all line up and greet him… and thank him for not having to pay rent. Maybe Tony was going to change that.

“Guys, your most amazing team member just walked through the door.”

Still no reply and Tony was walking up the stairs, grumbling under his breath. Even the first floor seemed unusually empty. These assholes wouldn’t have gone to a mission without him? As a punishment Tony would raid the kitchen and steal Barnes’ vodka to fuck with him. The first cupboard was full of Captain Crunch cereal boxes. Had to be Steve’s. Next one – pop tarts. Hell no. There was no way Thor was going to keep that god like waist and broad shoulders if he was munching on this unhealthy stuff all the time. Tony couldn’t have that. What would the People Magazine say if the Avengers were running around with a fat Asgardian god? Because he was a pal, Tony took out two of the pop tarts and decided to eat them himself to help Thor out. The next cupboard stored some coffee, so Tony’s breakfast was complete. He was only missing out on the vodka.

Sipping on his cup of delicious coffee Tony kept roaming through the cupboards, but he didn’t find anything interesting or alcoholic. Seriously? Had Cap established a dictatorship here and ruled out everything that was fun? There wasn’t even beer! Tony had to save his fellow Avengers and move in here to stop Cap’s rule of terror. Where was the vodka?

A menacing growl resounded behind Tony. Finally some attention. Turning around Tony took another sip from his coffee while watching a huge panther stalking into the room. Really? Tony had seen way better and way more attractive. “Hey, Reindeer Games. Feeling a bit animalistic today?”

The panther jumped on the counter, its light yellow eyes staring at Tony and then it growled once again, bearing its deadly teeth. Wow, somebody was in a bad mood. Had some spell blown up in his face again? Biting into the first pop tart Tony didn’t bother to swallow before he started talking. “Can you tell Thor these things are fucking delicious? I claim half of it since this is my house.”

A loud roar filled the air and Tony rolled his eyes. “What? You’re defending Thor? You’re sick? Fleas biting you?”

Someone had to tell Loki that a panther on the kitchen counter wasn’t intimidating. A bear, maybe, but not a panther. Look at that fluffy fur, Tony felt tempted to cuddle him. “You’re such a cute, little kitty…”

“Stark.”

Huh? Tony knew that voice. This wasn’t good. Turning his head Tony saw Loki standing in the door away, watching him with a raised eyebrow. Oh. Looking back to the panther which was still growling at him Tony blinked. Then looking back to Loki. Back to the panther.

“Holy shit!” Dropping the pop tart Tony pressed himself against the counter behind him, trying to get as much distance between him and that man-eating, predator that was watching Tony the way Thor was looking at pizza. “That’s a fucking panther! A panther! In my kitchen!”

Loki casually walked past the counter with the beast on it, heading for the coffee machine. “You made coffee.” That was all he said, turning his back to the panther and getting himself a cup of coffee. Tony saw all of that only out of the corner of his eye, not daring to lose sight of the panther which seemed ready to jump at Tony any time. Fuck, he couldn’t die like this. “Loki… there is a panther in this kitchen… and it’s planning on eating me!” He was whispering, his voice wavering and Loki was showing mercy, paying him a little attention. “No, she is not. She thinks you are an intruder and tries to intimidate you. Quite successfully it seems.”

“Yeah, I’m seconds away from pissing my pants… A little help would be appreciated. Tell it… her… that this is my fucking compound!”

Of course Loki was being a dick and taking his time, even sipping on his coffee. Sure, no reason to rush. Tony was just being about to be eaten alive in the kitchen by a fucking panther. Holding his breath Tony watched as Loki leaned against the counter, his free hand gently petting the black fur. Loki mumbled a few words which sounded so strange that Tony was sure it couldn’t be a real language. However, Loki could be saying anything he wanted, Tony didn’t care, because the panther suddenly stopped snarling at him.

Tony released a breath of relief when the panther stopped crouching and got into a position that made him think that it wasn’t so likely to jump at any second. Loki continued to drink his coffee, stroking the panther’s fur and Tony let a few seconds pass before unleashing the best. Not the stupid panther, but an angry Tony Stark. Definitely a force to be reckoned with… but Tony would keep his voice down, that panther was still freaking him out. “Look, it’s not like I’m complaining that some of you want a pet… I have nothing against a cute kitty to scratch my eyes out when I slip, but not a fucking panther! Where did you get a fucking panther?!”

Loki didn’t seem to think him worth of a glance and began to tickle the panther behind the ears. Hell no… “She was a gift from T’challa. Now excuse me, I have things to do.”

Petting the panther one the head one last time, the animal seemed to actually purr, Loki turned around and left, clearly not giving a fuck. Leaving Tony alone with the panther which now was again looking at Tony.

“Uhm… hey… sorry, I don’t speak Wakandan… but this is my house, so… I’ll let you stay here if you don’t try to eat me. Are we cool?”

The panther licked his lips and kept looking at him. Okay… better than snarling. Very slowly Tony grabbed the pop tart still lying on the kitchen counter and then tiptoed out of the kitchen. Why did he tell the architect he wanted an open kitchen area? How was he supposed to lock the panther in now?

Sprinting down the hall Tony reached the part of the house where the private rooms were located. Great, he’d now kick some ass and find out who had decided that they would keep such a gift. “Cap!”

No response. Where was this guy? Where was everybody? Expect for the deadly beast who had walked into the kitchen earlier. Well, and the panther.

“Tony! Hey! Great to see you!”

Fantastic, not Cap, but Cap’s little sidekick. Nah, Tony liked Sam. Most of the time. “Hey, long time, no see. You look great. Have you been working out? Look at those arms! I was just getting coffee. You want some coffee? I would get you some if there wasn’t a freaking, huge, black panther in the kitchen! And no, I am not talking about T’Challa! A real panther!”

Sam’s face fell and Tony could see the realisation in his eyes. “Oh… yeah. Somebody should have told you about that…”

“You think?!”

His smile was kind of timid and he was clearly feeling uncomfortable. “I know it’s kinda weird, but you quickly get used to it. Masika is mild as a dove.”

“Yeah, I thought so too when she was about to eat me and Loki had to stop her! I’m traumatised for life! I owe Loki!”

Sam made a gesture that was probably supposed to tell Tony to calm down. He would calm the fuck down when they had got the beast out of his house. “She is kind of a watchdog… if she knows you, she is no danger whatsoever.”

“You forgot about the fact that it’s a fucking panther?!”

“Well, the last time we met T’Challa the conversation came up… Barnes complained about that challenge on YouTube… you know… teenagers trying to get to the facility and put the video on YouTube.”

Yeah, Tony remembered that. He also remembered commenting on one of the video… which had made it a huge thing and Natasha had been so pissed when the 17 year old boys wouldn’t stop crawling over the fence of the facility. That had been a great day.

“Well… Barnes talked about getting a watchdog and two days later T’Challa offered us the panther. You can’t refuse a gift from a king… and it works. Since the first time he let her out into the garden, nobody ever tried to climb the fence again.”

“You don’t know that! It probably ate all the kids!”

“No, she didn’t… She is a domesticated panther… kind of… also Loki told her to not attack anybody.”

“Really? That’s your excuse? Loki told her not to attack anybody? Loki?!”

Again Sam shrugged. “Hey, she’s been here for over 3 months and nothing ever happened. Honestly we kinda see her like a… big cat.”

Tony’s mouth pretty much dropped to the floor. So these kinds of things happened when Tony wasn’t hanging around the compound 24/7? They got themselves a panther as a fucking pet. “Is Cap alright with this?”

“Sure, he loves Masika. Nat always scowls him, because he tries feeding her sweets…”

Unbelievable…

“Fucking wonderful. Where’s Cap? I gotta talk to him…”

“Uhm… I guess he’s working out with Thor, so they’re in the gym.”

Before Sam had even finished his sentence Tony was already heading down the stairs. Oh, Cap wasn’t going to know what hit him. Time to bring some order into this facility. Clearly Captain America wasn’t able to take care of that. When Tony had reached the gym, he just ripped the door open and stormed right in. “Hey, what is…”

Oh, fuck…

Tony had barely enough time to throw himself to the ground when the hammer hit the shield. The energy wave still pushed Tony out into the hall and he was lucky that he had left the door open or he would have been thrown against it. Well, hitting the floor still hurt like a bitch and Tony cursed all blond, blue eyed guys in the entire world. Everybody knew that they were the source of all evil.

“Damn, Tony!”

Somebody carefully took a hold of his arm, pulling him up and had these two blond, blue eyes idiots were staring down at him. Groaning Tony rubbed his head and shot daggers at them. Unfortunately he only had his eyes to do that right now. Later he would ask Loki to lend him some real ones. “That’s it, kids… I am taking your toys away.”

“God, I am so sorry. Are you alright?”

“Yeah… just a massive headache… without drinking… so the lame kind of headache.”

At least Steve looked incredibly guilty and Thor shifted from one foot to another. “This was really unfortunate, friend Tony.”

“Whatever… we need to talk.”

Determinedly Steve was shaking his head, already acting like the boss again. A boss that allowed a fucking panther in the house. “No, we need to get you checked. Make sure you are alright. Friday, call Loki. He needs to take a look at Tony.”

Great, as if Loki saving his life one time wasn’t enough.

“Captain Rogers, Loki wants me to tell you that he just sat down to read a book and as long as Mr. Stark isn’t bleeding out, he cannot be bothered to get up from his chair.”

“Isn’t he charming, lazy son of a bitch? You can teleport, asshole!”

Thor started scowling, but didn’t say anything. Hmm, perhaps Tony should take it down a notch. Steve was screwing his face up, then smiling at Tony. “He would come down if it was something serious, I am sure. Come on, I’ll help you up.”

Hell no! Tony was here to kick Steve’s ass, not to have Steve cuddle him. Jumping up to his feet Tony ignored the slight vertigo he was feeling and raised his forefinger, hoping it would look a bit menacing. “Cap, we need to talk!”

Clearly confused Steve frowned. “Uhm… sure. What about?”

“The weather, the elections, soccer, redheads or blonds… oh, why is there a panther in my fucking building?!

Tony expected a lot of different reactions, mostly he wanted Steve to feel embarrassed and even more guilty. Why was he smiling? He shouldn’t be smiling! “Oh, Masika… Oh, right, we forgot to tell you. You haven’t been here in a while… I know she looks scary, but she’s completely harmless. Like a normal cat. You’ll love her.”

“I doubt that! She was trying to eat me!”

Shaking his head Steve didn’t even bat an eyelid. “She definitely didn’t. She doesn’t attack anybody.”

“Why is everybody completely okay with a fierce killer living in my house?! Okay, scratch that. Another fierce killer! Aren’t Loki and Barnes enough!?”

Bad idea. Bad Tony. Was he trying to commit suicide here? Now both Thor and Steve were looking at him with that expression… That ‘Don’t say anything not nice about my favourite ex-psychopath’ expression. Fine, Tony would play nice. “All I am saying is we can’t have a wild animal in the house! It’s not safe.”

Steve was about to say something, but Thor cut him off short. “I agree with Stark.”

Tony let out a joyful cry. “Yes! High-five, bro!”

“Come on, Thor. You are just saying that, because you are scared of her. For completely no reason.” Tony couldn’t believe how quickly Steve dismissed of Thor who huffed in response. “The vile beast attacked me!”

“No, she did not. You are only making that up.”

“I swear on Mjolnir, I jumped on me and tried to rip my throat out with its teeth!”

Rolling his eyes Steve turned away and Tony blinked rapidly because he couldn’t believe his eyes. “Not that story again. Thor, we checked the security footage. That never happened.”

“It did!”

“Hey, don’t walk away! It’s my compound and I want the panther out!”

“I support Stark’s decision.”

Steve picked up his shield and looked so incredibly… not impressed by their request. “That’s not up for discussion. She’s a domesticated panther from Wakanda. She has a lot of space, the whole area for herself, she is doing fine. Also she was a gift from T’Challa. To all of us and everyone but Thor loves her. So she stays.”

Tony’s mouth dropped open for the second time. “Wow, somebody has gone mad with power.”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Excuse me, Mr. ‘I am the leader of the Avengers and all mighty Captain America’, this house, the walls, the bed you sleep in, it all belongs to me and as your landlord I am telling you that I don’t want bloodthirsty beasts in my house! Well, except for Loki and Barnes…”

Clearly annoyed Steve shrugged. “Fine… we’ll discuss this with everybody else at dinner… Thor, I hope you aren’t finished yet. I barely broke a sweat.”

Tony watched in disbelief how Thor immediately started grinning and walked back into the centre of the gym. “You should know better now than challenging me, Captain.”

Making huge, waving gestures with his hands Tony tried to get their attention back. “Hey! We’re still talking about the panther in my kitchen!”

“Later, at dinner.”

“Ah, fuck you guys.”

Turning around on his heels Tony stormed away, but quickly slowed down, because there was a jackhammer doing ugly business in his head. Now that sucked. Thor was on his side which was cool, but since nobody ever listened to Thor it didn’t help Tony the slightest. Time to find some reasonable people. Tony had to find the robot somewhere walking around here... and avoid the kitchen.

Heading back upstairs Tony tried the main living room for the second time and because one trauma wasn’t enough Tony just walked right into the next one. Vision wearing a green sweater and jeans was fucking disturbing. “Mr. Stark, what a pleasure to see you. It has been a long time since you have been here. You have been sorely missed.”

Yep, disturbing…

“Hey, you look… human-ish… How are things going?”

“Excellent.” Vision smiled, slightly nodding his head and Tony felt his mood getting worse. This was Jarvis’ voice and the wonderful British accent, but Vision didn’t sound like Jarvis at all. There was no snark, no irony and damn, if Tony wanted to get insulted by a British guy he would have to go to Loki. A shudder was running down Tony’s back. Terrible thought. “Everybody is doing alright. Nothing out of the ordinary has happened during the last couple of days. If I remember correctly there is a saying… No news are good news?”

“Right…” A giant, black panther in Tony’s kitchen wasn’t considered news? What the hell was going on?

“Wanda has achieved great progress while working on her magical abilities. Captain Rogers was talking about soon being able to let her lead a team on another mission.”

Yeah, whatever… Tony didn’t care, not when there was a panther in the kitchen. “Great, cool, awesome. What are your thoughts on Masika?”

“I must admit I am more or less indifferent to her presence as she is to mine, but Wanda is clearly taken with her.”

Yeah, cool, really, Tony didn’t give a shit. One vote more against him… democracy sucked. Okay, Tony would keep himself busy until the dinner and then he would make sure to have the panther kicked out. “Listen, I’m heading to the lab, doing some work. You wanna come with me?”

Vision again bowed his head slightly and Tony was reminded of the fact that he didn’t like people who were too polite. “Unfortunately I must decline. I promised Wanda helping her to prepare the dinner. She decided to teach me since my last attempts at cooking turned out rather poorly.”

“Fine… you two go and some food… I’ll… whatever…” Tony was getting seriously pissed off. If only Rhodes was here Tony would have one person on his side, but no… Mr. War Machine had wandered off for a couple of weeks to accompany the president on a trip to Asia. Now Tony had to fight the rest of the Avengers alone. But hey, he was Tony Stark and it was his house. “See you when dinner is ready.”

So Tony locked himself up in his lab for the next couple of hours, getting some work done which was actually fun and entertaining. Also the lab was a panther free zone. First thing tomorrow he’d call T’Challa and explain him what a real gift was supposed to look like. That dude was the king of an entire nation, if he wanted to make them a gift… he should think about cars, houses, fucking free Vibranium! That would be cool! But no, they got a panther…

A black panther from black panther… damn, T’Challa must think he was funny…

When it was time to eat Tony tiptoed out of his lab, making his way to the kitchen. Friday had told him before that Masika… was out in the garden, but one could never be careful enough. Maybe Tony should consider constantly wearing his suit.

Since everything seemed to be completely fucked up in this facility Tony found out that he was too soon for dinner. Him. Tony Stark. For years people have been dragged him out of his lab to make him eat and now that he came voluntarily nothing was happening. Were they making fun of him? Was this hidden camera? Fucking with Iron Man edition?

Ending up in the kitchen Tony realised that he was even the first one to be here. Except for Wanda and Vision who were… Wait a second, what were they doing?

“I must admit that I do not have much confidence in the outcome of my honest attempt, Wanda. I fear your efforts might have been in vain…” Vision sounded terribly apologetic and Wanda only laughed softly. A happy laugh, carefree and Tony thought it was weird.

“I haven’t even tasted it yet. You are too quick to judge, Vis.”

Vis?

Still smiling Wanda dipped her spoon into the big pot and then tasted it. Tony tried not to laugh when her smile faltered a little bit. “Well, we’re making progress… baby steps…”

Vision still seemed uncomfortable which was kind of endearing. “I fear cooking is not a thing I am particularly gifted for…”

“That’s alright. You have other qualities.” She touched his shoulder, smiling again and then they were just looking at each other. Why was Tony suddenly getting a vibe? A very awkward, strange, what the fuck is going on here vibe.

“Close your mouth, it makes you look ridiculous.” Somebody said that right into his ear and Tony flinched. God, he hated Barnes and his stupid ability to sneak up on pretty much anyone.

Tony narrowed his eyes at him. “Sorry, but I am constantly witnessing disturbing things going on here…”

First Barnes raised an eyebrow, then he quite obviously glanced at Wanda and Vision, his expression suddenly changing. Tony thought he looked quite a lot more understanding than before. “Oh, that? That’s been going on for days now… it is freaking me out.”

“Thank god! She does know he’s a robot, right?”

“I fucking hope so…” Barnes shrugged, then more or less shoving Tony aside, stepping into the kitchen. “I’m hungry. Dinner’s ready?”

“Yes, I was just about to…” Wanda’s eyes fell on Tony and she smiled. It had taken some time, but she had warmed up to him. “Tony, nice to see you.”

“Hey, Wanda…” Tony wanted to make some kind of joke, but he was too confused to actually come up with anything. Thankfully now everybody else started showing up and no sign of the panther. One chair at the end of the table was still empty, while everybody else had already sat down and Steve noticed that with a displeased sigh. “Loki… we talked about this…”

Tony had no time to ask any questions, because one second later there was Loki sitting Indian style on the last chair, a book in his hands, not even looking up from it. “Your insistance on these group dinners is so tiring, Captain.”

Next to him Barnes snarled, similar to the panther and ripped the book from Loki’s hands. “Sit down like a decent human being… okay, you aren’t decent and you aren’t a human being, but you don’t read at the fucking table.”

Loki put on that scary ‘I am not going to kill you now, but some time later’ face, but didn’t say a word.

Great way to start a dinner. Tony was relieved to find out that Vision’s attempt at cooking had merely been an experiment and it had actually been Wanda who had prepared their dinner. It was spicy but really good. Tony’s mood was starting to get better until Natasha had to ask him what he was doing here. “What? Can’t I show up at my own place?”

“No need to get defensive, I was merely asking a question.”

“I will tell you why, I… Oh my god! There it is! Get it away from me!” Tony tried to resist the urge to climb on his chair and on the table when the panther casually strolled into the room. Now he got his proof that only mad people were sitting at this table, because nobody gave a fuck.

While Tony feared for his awesome life, Loki was reaching out across the table, grabbing Wanda’s wrist and… inspecting her nails? What the fuck was going on? “It’s a nice colour…”

Were they seriously talking about her black nail polish when a black panther was in the same room? Not the guy in the costume, a real panther!

“Thanks. I can lend it to you if you want.”

“Thank you, not necessary.” Loki pulled back his hand which was glowing in a soft green light and a second later his nails were the same colour as Wanda’s.

“Wow…” Sam was shaking his head. “That is so gay.”

Why were Loki’s emo nails the most important thing in the room when the panther was stalking around the table? Slowly Loki turned his head to Sam and his piercing eyes even made Tony forget about the predator for a second. Loki looked like he could rip somebody apart with his hands to while staying completely calm. Fuck, he even started smiling. “Funny you mention this… Since you seem to be an expert on this matter, I want your opinion on something. I think I witnessed something gay last night when I was teleporting to the gym, because I…”

Suddenly Loki let out a gasp that sounded pretty painful and stared at Barnes who was sitting next to him. “Did you just kick me?!”

“Were you just about to bore everyone with your bullshit? Couldn’t let that happen.”

“Oh, I see, you don’t want me to…”

“Can everyone just shut up and address the fucking fact that a panther is in the room!” Tony was this close to snapping, but he finally got some attention. From Steve. “Right… come here, Masika.”

This was a heart attack. Tony was having a heart attack. This couldn’t be happening. Steve was beaming and the panther slowly walked up to him. With bright eyes and a ridiculous smile Steve petted the panther’s head and Tony was tempting to throw his spoon at Steve’s head. Fuck it, sometimes you should give into temptation.

“Ouch! Tony, are you crazy!?”

“You are petting a panther!”

“So?”

“It’s a panther!”

How many times did he have to say that?

Finally someone else joined in on the real conversation… sadly it was Natasha, so Tony was probably screwed. “You didn’t know about Masika? T’Challa gave her to us. It was a lovely gesture.”

“Nat, when was the last time you had your eyes checked? That’s not a thank you card or a nice bottle of wine, but a panther!”

He was getting no support whatsoever, he had clearly rubbed her the wrong way. “Of course, Masika is a panther. A black panther. The black panther is the protector of Wakanda and a sacred symbol. It’s a huge honour for us that T’Challa gave her to us.”

Tony was reaching for Thor’s spoon to throw it at her, but to his surprise Sam was rushing to his help. “Sure… and if T’Challa was going to offer us an old toilet brush as a gift, you’d also consider that a huge honour.”

And the spotlight was off Tony. Maybe not a bad thing…

“What are you implying?”

Thor, as usual, didn’t get the tone of her voice and was happy to explain it to her. “I think what the Falcon is trying to say is that you would appreciate any gesture from the King, because you are infatuated with him.”

It was a seldom sight, but so worth it. Natasha’s eyes almost popped out. Steve swallowed audibly, Wanda sucked in a breath and then everybody was silent. For two and a half seconds. Even the clapping sound was clearly filled with irony. “Great job, Thor. Great job.” Loki’s grin was almost reaching his ears and Thor was completely clueless. “What?”

“Uhm…” Steve was clearing his throat, being a boy scout, wanting to re-establish peace. “Tony is feeling uncomfortable with Masika in the house. We should talk about it.”

Instantly all the eyes were on him and they didn’t look… friendly. “Come on, guys, it’s a panther!”

“Masika has been here for three months. She is lovely. What do you have against her?” Wanda seemed genuinely shocked and even Barnes was shaking his head. “She keeps the fucking teenagers of our lawn… and she’s our pet.”

“She. Is. A. Panther. And she wanted to eat me.”

A collective groan resounded and Tony was about to throw a temper tantrum when it was Vision, fucking Vision, who planted the knife in his back. “I am sorry, Mr. Stark, but I think this is highly unlikely. Masika has never shown any sign of aggression towards people and Loki has made sure that she is not able to attack anyone.”

Spoon was about to be thrown when Thor spoke up. “She was trying to attack me.”

“That is impossible, Thor.” Loki was still grinning and suddenly Tony was pretty sure that the panther had indeed attacked Thor.

“Look, Tony. You haven’t spent a lot time here lately. You will get used to her and love her just like we do. She’s our mascot.” Natasha was wearing a smirk on her face, she had probably already figured out a way to make Sam pay for his comment later on. Everybody else nodded in agreement and Steve started talking about some fucking baseball game and hell no!

“Guys! I don’t know if you remember this, but this is my place! Mine! You are just living here, it’s all mine! It’s me making the rules… New rule – no animals allowed on the compound.”

Yes, good statement. Tony was proud of himself.

“Now that is unfortunate.” Loki crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Does this mean you want me to get the dragon egg out of the house?”

“What?!”

Tony ignored the others, staring at Loki in awe. “You have a dragon egg in your room?!”

“Yes. It’s likely to hatch in three weeks.”

Steve opened his mouth, but Tony threw Thor’s spoon at him. “Again… you have a real dragon egg and in three weeks a little dragon is going to come out of it?!”

“I just said that, didn’t I?” Loki rolled his eyes. “Does this mean my dragon will not be allowed here?” This was a clear challenge, but Tony didn’t give a fuck, because… a freaking dragon!

“It’s a fucking dragon! Of course it’s allowed here! I wanna be its godfather! Can we call it Draco? We totally need call it Draco!”

Barnes had to be a spoilsport, as usual. “Stark, you just said that no animals were allowed here. I’m pretty sure that a dragon is an animal.”

“If Loki gets to keep a dragon, we get to keep Masika.”

Tony made an impatient gesture. “Yeah, yeah, panther, whatever. How big does the dragon have to be till I can ride it? Oh! Drogon! An even better name for a dragon!”

Although Tony could hardly think about anything else than his excitement about the dragon, he still saw Steve smiled contently and turning his attention back to the panther. Fine, maybe he could learn to look at the beast like a big cat. Steve obviously did, with his dumb, happy smile, completely bewitched with the animal. Kind of cute… a little bit…

“By the Nornes, stop drooling all over him. Wilson might think it’s gay.” Loki snorted and Barnes winced, clearly looking guilty, then like he wanted to punch Loki. Steve on the other hand blushed, Sam’s mouth dropped open and Thor growled. “Loki, you promised.”

“I promised I wouldn’t tell what I saw, but not that I wouldn’t comment on what I am seeing right now. Barnes, stop drooling over the Captain. What is the phrase, Stark likes to use? Get a room…”

Wow, that dinner had suddenly turned awkward. Sam couldn’t decide if he should stare at Steve or at Barnes while the latter was getting up from his chair. “Fine, Loki… let’s settle this. Outside.”

“Sergeant Barnes, I know my brother was out of line, but I will not allow that…”

“Shut up, Thor. If he wants to, I will gladly…”

“Everybody calm down!” Steve shook his head, his cheeks still slightly red. “I almost forgot to bring this up. The mayor called and asked me to visit a school, tell the kids what the Avengers are doing and campaign against bullying… I thought about taking Thor with me, but now I think it might be better if you come along, Loki.”

A grin spread across Barnes’ face and Loki’s eyes widened. “Why would you do such a stupid thing?”

“Because a recent survey showed that you are massively popular among the 7-13 year olds.”

“I hate kids!”

“Well, they love you, because they think you are a magician. No arguing about this, I let you off the hook when we were doing the campaign against drugs and you called it stupid. You are coming with me and you are going to be nice to the kids, end of discussion.”

Loki was sulking now, even rolling his eyes. “If one of them asks me if I know Harry Potter, I am going to turn it into a speaking hat…”

Tony couldn’t help it but burst out laughing. Okay, this dinner wasn’t quite so bad.

Too happy too soon.

As soon as dinner was finished everybody disappeared amazingly quickly. If Tony had been drunk, he maybe wouldn’t have noticed a certain dynamic. Unfortunately he was perfectly sober and it was painfully obvious what was going on. Wanda and Vision walked out together, chatting cheerfully. Steve and Barnes were desperately trying to be discrete, whispering in hushed voices before leaving in two different directions. Yeah, these two definitely weren’t meeting up in a closet five minutes later. Natasha got a call and hurried away. Tony would be his fortune that the display of her phone was showing a number from Wakanda. Thor downright said that he was still going to meet up with Doctor Foster and Sam seemed so traumatised about Loki’s revelation that he had to instantly talk to his girlfriend.

Traitors. All of them. With their crushes, affairs and relationships. Well, there was still Loki who had teleported away without a word when they had finished dinner. Cool. Tony had come here for company and entertainment and now he was sitting alone on a couch. This was so fucking sad… What was wrong in the world when every single Avenger was somehow able to get laid and maintain a somehow functioning relationship but him? Hell, even the two guys from the forties were getting more action them him. Fan-fucking-tastic…

Although it wasn’t only about that. Tony could have been alone at home too. He wasn’t here to sit alone in a huge living room. Even bigger than the one he had at home. This fucking sucked. Sighing softly Tony made a move to get up when he heard soft steps on the floor. Seriously? The panther was coming to hang out with him? Despite everybody telling him that Masika was nice kitty cat, Tony still felt his heart skipping a beat when the panther jumped onto the couch next to him. Slightly alarming, but there was no snarl, no showing teeth and no growling. Instead the panther lay down next to him and Tony’s eyes went wide when it rested its head on Tony’s thigh. Immediately Tony’s body tensed up, but within seconds it became clear that the panther didn’t intent to trick him or to take a big bite of his thigh.

No, the panther was just lying there… cuddling with Tony?

Hesitantly Tony reached out carefully put his hand on the panther’s head. The fur was incredibly soft, silky even. Perhaps Tony could understand Steve a tiny little bit better now. Gently Tony petted the head before caressing the fur, tickling the panther behind the ears. A smile spread on his face when the panther began to purr, even moving his head into Tony’s touch.

Yes, this wasn’t so bad… The panther moved a little closer and Tony ran his second hand down his back. Now he felt like a dick for wanting this animal out of his house. It clearly didn’t seem to be dangerous now, resting his head in Tony’s lap, making soft, content noises when Tony stroked his fur. So yes, this was nice… not what Tony had expected, but…

His hand froze in his movement when Tony’s eyes spotted something that wasn’t right. From his spot on the couch Tony could see down the hall, leading to the stairs and what he saw there didn’t quite make sense. Tony still caught a glimpse of four lean legs and black fur jumping down the stairs. Huh…

The panther which was still lying very much on top of him raised its head, letting out a sound that clearly showed that he was upset that Tony had suddenly stopped petting him. Staring down at the panther Tony didn’t know what to do for a second before the smile came back to his lips. When he restarted the stroking the fur, the panther contently placed his head back in Tony’s lap and he couldn’t help but chuckle. “I was right, wasn’t I? You’re such a cute, little kitty…”

 


End file.
